Snow Joke, This Is Serious | Snow Brings Europe To A Standstill

Rome, Italy (Dec 1) – Heavy snowfall has brought parts of Europe, Britain in particular, to an almost complete standstill.  Airports have closed, roads have become jammed up, and eight homeless people have lost their lives.

French, British, and Swiss airports have closed, and air travel in Germany and Spain has also been disrupted.  Gatwick and Edinburgh in the UK, Geneva in Switzerland and Lyon-bron in France have all shut due to the staff’s inability to clear the runways of snow

In Poland, where the temperature dropped to -26 degrees Celsius, police are urging the public to report any homeless people on the street after 8 men were found frozen to death.

The UK, which has become notoriously terrified of snow in the last couple of years, has seen schools up and down the country closing their doors because of a little snow.  The inability to deal with the “white death”, as it is being perceived, is threatening my flight home this weekend…  This would be an issue if I had any desire to go home, but I don’t…  So it’s not.

It feels like the media in the UK wait all year for this.  Snow is the new terror plots.  Don’t dare go out, stay indoors, wrap your children up in blankets of fire lest they be taken by the dreaded falling soft ice crystals.  I am almost giddy to be away from British TV as I don’t think I could stand to see another dead-eyed reporter standing in the middle of what is easily the most fun form of weather and looking like someone shat in their cereal.

Life can’t surely ever get bad enough that someone could walk out of their house, see 3 feet of snow and feel anything other than pure, childlike excitement.  If you walk out of your house and see that sight and then complain that you can’t get to work, you have lost at the game of life.  It is all over for you, and probably has been for some time.

Snow, to me, is essentially nature’s way of reminding you that your life, your job, those “important errands” are not as important as you believe them to be.  Enjoy the snow…  Pelt someone with a snowball, make a snowman…

Gas prices have risen as people struggle to heat their houses, may I suggest hot water bottles under the blanket on the couch.

Northern Italy is experiencing floods.  The river just one street across from me, the Tiber, came dangerously close to bursting its banks last night in what I would describe as some of the heaviest rain I have ever experienced…  In addition, I being Scottish should add some weight to that claim.  It felt like the apocalypse, if that were a real thing and not religious hokum.  Flooding is a problem, cannot make a snowman in a flood, cannot throw a floodball at a friend, can I?

The BBC website asks for stories of how you have been affected by the snow…  I do not think being angry about the way they portray it, and the idiotic way people react to it is exactly what they are after, but I might write to them anyway.

Maybe I’m just an idiot.  I love the snow, I am actually quite gutted about not being there for it, but if my flight is cancelled this weekend, I do not care.  I’m in Rome.  As Long as the Tiber does not flood causing me to drown or ruin my new shoes, I don’t really care.  I will not be “stranded.”

To help you through this most catastrophic of events here are my top tips to survival of what a friend of mine is calling the “snolocaust”; Tip one.  Stop whining and enjoy yourself; Tip two, buy a hot water bottle; Tip three, build some sort of fort in your front garden and jump out on people passing and shout “stand and deliver, your money or you life… HO!” before pelting them back to hell with snowballs; Tip four, make lots of snowballs in preparation for the previous tip;   Tip five, the most important tip, cling film, or saran wrap (depending where you are from) is just as good, if not better than any sled you can buy in the shops.

Henry Hunter – The Associated News Network, In Danger of Flooding (an actual problem) Rome.

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2 Responses to Snow Joke, This Is Serious | Snow Brings Europe To A Standstill

  1. Greg December 1, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    This is all Al Gore’s fault since he was lying about global warming.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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